03.24 / / elden ring & dissociating.
ive been through countless rough days at work and i can feel my bones decaying as we speak but its okay because i spent all day doing fuckall since its finally come down from holidays. i started to slowly relapse back into dissociating lately and its jarring and something im not too use to anymore and it kinda hashtag #sucks but whatevs! i keep myself busy with elden ring and some of my playtime is dedicated purely to sitting down idly in liurnia as i scroll my phone listening to the ambiance. im very attached to leyndells main theme as well i think i teared up a bit when i finally reached the giant erdtree and heard the (flutes?) quietly. this attachment feels far different from anything and im finally happy knowing i can find peace in something made to make you mad. its the only thing i truly look forward to sometimes at work or when im out and about. i feel #peaceful by the game. kidding lmfao but...alas tis a diary and i wont filter myself

about this diary.
made of useless rambling and discussions about my mental health as a means to feel like im talking about my cycle of never ending torture to someone. this is worse than caelid i fear.