12.10 / / updates & life.
finally a new pc i forgot to update that. but as of currently im spending time trying to figure out what's the best for me and taking care of myself. i've become mentally unstable again but xx. been really enjoying oshikatsu culture and dedicating my love for various characters i think about always. from elden ring to yaoi games i played when i was like 14 will never not be peak.

03.24 / / elden ring & dissociating.
ive been through countless rough days at work and i can feel my bones decaying as we speak but its okay because i spent all day doing fuckall since its finally come down from holidays. i started to slowly relapse back into dissociating lately and its jarring and something im not too use to anymore and it kinda hashtag #sucks but whatevs! i keep myself busy with elden ring and some of my playtime is dedicated purely to sitting down idly in liurnia as i scroll my phone listening to the ambiance. im very attached to leyndells main theme as well i think i teared up a bit when i finally reached the giant erdtree and heard the (flutes?) quietly. this attachment feels far different from anything and im finally happy knowing i can find peace in something made to make you mad. its the only thing i truly look forward to sometimes at work or when im out and about. i feel #peaceful by the game. kidding lmfao but...alas tis a diary and i wont filter myself

about this diary.
made of useless rambling and discussions about my mental health as a means to feel like im talking about my cycle of never ending torture to someone. this is worse than caelid i fear.